It took exactly 4 years and 6 days for me to summon so much courage to speak about a torment that dawned into my life of living large, with all kinds of relativity.
I find it very vegetating and unfair on my part to have to live such a monotonous life, for 4 agonizing years. So called friends, dissected family members, colleagues and the aberrant lay man asking the same question. Mafedi/Bigboy kgane go dirigile eng? (Mafedi/Bigboy what happened?).
You see there was a part of my life where I was living my life without a care to be given, whatsoever. This part of my life we can call the Achilles heel, you see we call it that as this was the time where I was at my weakest, despite my alter ego telling me that I was in fact on top of the world. With just about everyone down there, the funniest thing about this and to my credit is that despite my been so remote to all things humane, I had a truck full of friends. This as you would imagine, inflate my sense of self importance to some exaggeration.
We all have that part of ours that’s just full of callous actions, even you do have it. It’s how you control it that makes a difference and gives you a better stand over life.
On the 25th of January 2008, I met a fatal accident. I almost lost my life, people even pronounced me dead. People I know and those that I didn’t even know. Was admitted at a hospital called Union Hospital in the Eastern side of Johannesburg called Alberton. Got into a coma for almost 9-10 days, with my right leg been literally pulled out of my intestines using what is called a traction, a mechanism that was drilled into my thigh, using weights to pull out the leg. Had a raptured bladder, resulting into a laparotomy operation, that still left a boasting scar on my abdominal. My mom only got to know about all of this after 3 days of my hospitalization, no one could summon the courage to tell her that her Biggy was fighting for his soul with the ancestors. The nice thing about a coma is you loose all touch with the world and anything that doesn’t add any value to your life and you loose weight.
As an Information Techonology professional, I too found myself learning at a fast pace about the human anatomy. One day as I was on my bed, ridden and dependent. My then doctor, Dr Jan Venter, made an unusual visit to my private room with all kinds of Sunday newspapers. This is of course how I then got to know that it was a Sunday, having been slipping in and out of mild comas loosing track of the outside world. He had came to tell me that I will have to confine into a wheelchair for the rest if my life. This is and was the time that I lost a lot of my then friends, I was more dependent you see and mostly a nuisance at large.
I spent 11-12 months on a wheelchair, I at this time started questioning God’s existence and subsequently that of Jesus. Having forgotten who had made and turned me into a success of a young man. You see the questioning of God came naturally, the Dr had also told me it would take a miracle for me to bare weight on my lower body, thus meaning I won’t be able to ever walk on my own again.
The saddest thing is that I had to deal with question from people that I thought were friends about what was happening to me, needless to say that I had expected them to tell me what had happened. I did expect a lot from people. A close friend asked me if I would have done differently if it was someone on the receiving end, I squarely said NO, I know that’s cause I didn’t know better. I have since almost went back to doing the same mistake of fostering friends, even though I know I don’t care about them. This I found is the underlying reasons I lost a lot of them, as they could careless. I just liberated myself off another friendship that almost enslaved me, sad but it had to be done.
My road to recovery is probably one of the most inspiring things to me, I saw myself come alive without even having milestones nor pragmatic ways of doing it. I got off the wheelchair, something that took my doctor and physiotherapist by surprise. I then used a walker for 7 months, then two crushes for a while. Now I use one crush on the righten hand to balance, as I had injured what’s called a lumbar plexus, a coil of nerves that provides the lower body with senses that ranges from touch, pain, balance and so on. Knowing very well that some people don’t necessarily care about all of this, for those that do care, you will be glad to know that my lumbar plexus is getting better by the day, hence the use of one walking aid.
Karma had got my address, the bitch never forgot the address. She came, knocked at my doorstep and ran the whole house.
The highlight of the aftermath of all these atrocities is the man I have become, one thats
imperfectly perfect. You will equally be glad to know that I am on my road to recovery and have found love inside of me. My head is always upright, well most of the times. I have also found a woman that loves me for who I am. My relationship with my little sister has went from nonexistence, to been the epitome of a bigger brother.
My career has remained stagnant and I know why, I am however working on this. The truth of the matter is that I am one happy young man and you should embrace that in me as family and friends.
Next time someone asks you about me, tell them I am doing fine. Probably better than them.